Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pumpkins and Hospitals- hopfully not a new tradition

 Monday is family day. Well, we try to make it family day when its not taken over by doctors appointments and errands and the occasional Monday we let daddy go golfing instead. But this Monday, was fully family day. I got up with the kids in the morning and spent a few hours playing with the kids while daddy slept in (His alone time for the day) My alone time for the day? A late morning trip to the grocery store. Never did I dream of the day I would look forward to spending an hour by my self at the grocery store. I took my time, planning the meals for the week and looking for the best deals and fully enjoyed every minute of being able to hear my own thoughts without screams and cries interrupting.

Charlie took the boys swimming while Fiona and I relaxed at the house. She had been peacefully sleeping all morning. The boys went right down for their nap with not too much of a fight and Charlie and I took this opportunity to clean the house. ( I had finally fished my project of organizing the closet!) We sat down with a clean, quiet house and for the first time in weeks I felt completely relaxed and at peace.

It was now 4 o'clock and Fiona hadn't woken up for a feeding since noon, so I picked her up, changed her and put her in a cute little Halloween outfit. She only stayed awake for a small feeding and drifted right back to sleep. She sleeps a lot, but by this time of the day she normally has eaten twice as much as she did that day. This wasn't completely unusual for her, but I didn't like it.

The boys woke up and we piled in the car to go pick out our pumpkins. I had a whole evening planned out for us- pumpkin carving and baking cookies. Fiona slept the entire time we were at the park.

It wasn't as picturesque as it may look. The boys were crabby and it was 90 degrees out.... it may look like fall at the park, but it sure didn't feel like it. And after a melt down because we only had one lollipop that they had to share, we left (stopping to get them each their own lollipop at the gas station- spoiled little boys). After a nice homemade stir fry dinner, I brought out the ghost shaped cookies that I had baked while the boys were sleeping. I hate letting the boys do anything that will make a mess because, well, that's just one more mess that I'll have to clean. But I figured some sugar water icing wouldn't be that bad to clean up. The boys and I decorated the cookies while Charlie attempted to feed Fiona.

My house is looking like a preschool class room (according to my mom) and I love it. Construction paper pumpkins and bats on the walls, kid decorated cookies, and the kid playroom that is in the center of our house is the final touch.

Fiona was barely eating again, and my mommy alarm went off. She didn't have a fever, her breathing was normal (well, normal for her) but something wasn't right. I called the doctor for advice. I thought they would just tell me to monitor her through the night and check in with the pediatrician in the morning if she still wasn't eating. As I waited for them to call me back, we set up the table to carve the pumpkins.

As the boys played in the pumpkin "brains", the nurse called me back, but did she not feel comfortable making a call on what to do considering the medicines she is on. She told me to wait for a call from the doctor. I was feeling torn between making this a fun night with the boys and worrying about Fiona. My gut told me this was nothing serious, but I don't ever want to take anything lightly with her. The nurse called back and said the doctor said to the hospital without hesitation.

Another long night at the E.R. for what turns out to be, just as I felt, nothing serious. No signs of sickness, all her electrolytes and medication levels were normal. I hate false alarms because I don't want doctors to think I'm just another over reacting mom. I felt the need to explain that we were there because a doctor told us to be, that I really did not think this was an emergency situation. And I had to sit there an watch them torture Fiona with IVs and needles just for all her tests to come back normal. The guilt was laying hard on me. Shes not the best eater, and isn't gaining anywhere close to the healthy amount she should be, but she is still gaining. They are now talking about possibly putting her on a feeding tube. I wish there was some way to up the calorie of my breast milk with something other then formula. I am trying to avoid that at all costs, for multiple reasons. But we'll find out our options when we meet with the GI.

In our absence, my amazing husband carved all three pumpkins while entertaining the boys. And, to his true self, did an awesome job. He let the boys pick out what to carve and they picked a doggy and Mickey Mouse. The third pumpkin he carved three little monkeys, for our three little monkeys :)

I'm sure this will not be the last family time interrupted by Fiona's medical needs and am keeping my fingers crossed that her surgery doesn't fall around her first Thanksgiving or Christmas. But if it does, we'll just have to make the best of it... Ill just have to get a little Christmas tree (fake because they don't allow plants in the CVICU) and string lights in her hospital room.

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