Wednesday, October 13, 2010

"Why I can't make mom friends"

 There is a YouTube video floating around that has got me thinking lately. "Why I can't make mom friends" is a hysterical, true look at how moms talk, or more think (I think I might have a few not so nice words if a mom actually talked to me this way). Everything seems to be a competition. There are many a way to raise a child and have a family, and this pressure of what is the best way really does exist.

 I have to admit, I catch myself being the blond mom at times. And, moms, if we are all honest, we all are the blond mom at times. Judging another mother because the way we do things is "better". I won the breastfeeding battle this time around ( a fight that formula won with the boys after a month struggle of nursing strike and sleep deprivation), and I catch myself feeling a bit of pride when I see moms mixing their formula. I quickly have to slap myself on the wrist. Why do we feel this need to one-up each other. Try hard as you may, conversations between moms always revolve around the way that they do things and how well their kids are doing. What they feed their child, how they get them to sleep, what activities they do with them- I feel this unbelievable pressure to impress. Being competitive is in my blood (as anyone who knows my dad's side of the family knows!) but I hate this aspect of motherhood.

So here is me, showing my dark side. I am not a perfect mom. My house is usually in disarray up until we have people over ( sometimes not even then!) My boys watch TV and movies all the time, yes all the time, probably 2 to 4 movies a day. We spend more time wrestling then doing any kind of educational play and they rarely ever eat organic based food, frankly, we just cant afford it. Fiona spends a lot of the day in her swing, were she is contently sleeping. She absolutely hates to breastfeed, she fights me every time I try, so I mostly pump. And the reason I am so adamant about breast milk with her is because we spent a small fortune already on formula with the boys who had formula from the day they were born, and solely formula after one month of age. My boys drink juice daily and they eat foods with red dye such as fruit snacks. For those of you who are reading this and are completely confused why I mentioning these things- these are things mothers judge other mothers for doing with their children. I could give you all the reasons why I do the things I do and defend all my actions, but that would just be playing into the game.

We all love our children and, like I tell my kids every day, we all think our own kids are "the cutest kids in the whole world!" And the way we do things is always going to be the best way for us. That's why we do them. We can argue till we are blue in the face about what indeed is best for our kids well being, but as long as they are loved and alive, I truly think we are all doing just fine. So, although I know we wont ever completely be able to stop judging each other, because its in our nature, I hope that we can stop using our kids in this sad game of one-up.

This blog was solely brought on because of this video, not because of any personal confrontations :)

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