Thursday, December 30, 2010

2010 Wind-down

For all the clicheness of it all, this was one roller coaster year of excitement and pain. We started the New Year with the announcement that we were expecting a new little blessing. And shortly after announced that it was a pink bundle the stork would be delivering. God gave our family a new path to travel on when we found out our little girl had a serious congenital heart defect and that pesky extra chromosome 21. He let us wrestle with the pain of losing a dream-life we had for our daughter, but was there to comfort us and shine light on this new road we were traveling on. Our sons turned the big number 2, and with it changed from my baby boys into my little men. Lets just say, our house got a lot louder with 4 people talking. We got to celebrate the births of 14 new babies with friends and family. Each one healthy, precious and a blessing.We experienced much anxiousness awaiting the arrival of Fiona, nervous for the many unknowns. But come her birth day, it was nothing but joy and relief- she is perfect! Searching her face for signs of Downs, but not seeing anything but a beautiful combination of my husband and myself will be forever burned into my memory. So will the dark, quiet NICU, the beeps of the monitors, and those first days of holding my daughter. We witnessed our sons fall head over heals for their baby sister- instantly bonding and loving her, the scare of an emergency ride back to the hospital and the comfort of knowing she is in good hands, and the overwhelming generosity of people around us, who helped take care of our family in more ways then I can count. My cup overflows with thanks for 2010.

Our lives changed going from a family of four to a family of five. And Fiona's medical issues not only changed our day to day routines, but also our outlook on life. God taught me the importance of trusting Him fully. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" -Proverbs 3:5. And man, is there a lot I do not understand. I do not understand why He choose this path for our family. But whats important is that He choose it. I know I have been blessed with more then I deserve.

We go into 2011 with anxious hearts. I can see the army charging down the hill, and I stand my ground ready to embrace the impact. The beautiful thing though, is I know I am not standing alone. Next week is going to be very hard, and in seven days, we may walk away from the battle field with a-less-then-hoped-for outcome. I praise God for giving Fiona a condition that she has a real fighting chance, and for every second that he has blessed us with her in our lives. And I trust that in everything, she is in His hands. That is the greatest comfort of all.

Farewell chapter 2010, and so we start a new one. Happy New Year!

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