You may not remember me. I was only a patient of yours just once.
Back in March of 2010, I came in for my 16 week check up and ultrasound. My husband and I had found out a week prior, via 4D ultrasound, that we were having a little girl- our princess since we already have twin boys. We came in ecstatic to see our baby again, but this ultrasound had a little different effect on us. See, we found out that her heart had not formed correctly and her sweet little feet were clubbed.
Our hearts ached for our baby and with the advice of another doctor in the practice, we did an amnio to check for chromosome abnormalities. Sure enough, she had Down syndrome as well.
This is when you came in. Our next visit after getting our daughters diagnosis.
I sat down in the room, with a heavy heart from the pain I was feeling for my unborn child. And as I sat there in pain, I listened to you give me little to no hope. Your facial expressions and words showed all the care in the world for me, but none for my baby. You gave me statistics of how unlikely it was that my baby would make it to birth and started talking to me about my delivery options to a still baby, since I already had one c-section under my belt. You know, so that I could have another healthy baby.
I sat back and took in all these numbers. Like, for example, that there was now a twenty-five percent chance of still birth. I wondered how many women took these words that you gave them, words that seemed more hopeless then optimistic, and terminated their living, developing baby.
I turned down any further appointment from you and rearranged my schedule to work with the other doctors in the practice. I wanted a doctor who was going to cheer for my baby.
Fiona Hope Blaeske was born August 16th, 2010 at All Childrens Hospital. She had the heart condition, her tiny little feet are turned in and as already tested, she has Down syndrome. But she is amazing.
The clubbed feet are nothing, some serial casting and a few years of special shoes and our princess will be running right with her brothers.
There are so many resources and help for kids with Down syndrome, and Fiona is excelling with the care she is able to receive and the love she gets from her family. She is stunningly beautiful and looks like her brothers' sister for sure.
And her heart? Well, that was a big hurdle that we just tackled. She under went heart surgery two days ago and is recovering beautifully. Definitely a hard thing for a parent to go through, but I wouldn't trade an easier route for a single minute that I have gotten with my daughter.
Our visit haunts me daily. I fear for all the amazing children, who could have been like my daughter, who never got to breath air or meet their mommy and daddy because you gave their parents no hope.
Fiona had a seventy-five percent of making it to birth- and she did.
And not only did she make it to birth, but she has overcome hurdle after hurdle and has completely stolen our hearts.
Since joining the Down syndrome community, I have come across other mothers, that after receiving their child's diagnosis, you treated them the same way. I am not looking for an apology or even a response back. But I wanted you to know that God is amazing and medicine is often wrong. There is no way for you to predict the future of any child accurately, but ignorant women trust you. I hesitated to even mention God, because you gave a strong vibe that you do not believe in His miracles. But that is more the reason to mention Him. So many women are willing to throw away their babies in search for the perfect one. But my DS, heart defected, clubbed foot child is perfect. And who's to say that she wont amount to anything because shes special. And who's to say that a healthy born child wont later in life go through a serious accident and become special? Life is unpredictable. I don't argue that it is important to give your patients statistics and factual information, but you have to give them hope. I pray every day that you give women the hope that they need. That you help them stay as healthy as possible for their unborn child and give them the resources and information to educate them on how to prepare for their life with the biggest, special, blessing- their sweet baby.
I'm not sure if you are a mother your self, but the moment I found out I was pregnant with my Fiona, I felt a deep connection to her. And you implying that she wasn't worth fighting for was like stabbing a knife in my own heart.
Please open your heart to these special babies. They truly are special and bring joy to anyone who opens their hearts to them.
Kelle Hampton is raising money for sweet Nella's first birthday to donate to the NDSS (National Down Syndrome Society) An amazing organization that helps raise awareness and empower these amazing people. Visit her breathtaking blog HERE or donate HERE
Nella Cordelia Hampton- Kelle Hampton's Photo