Sunday, May 29, 2011

Magic Keys

My daughter is smitten with Stevie Wonder. At least she would be, if I ever played the actual song. Just a few hours old, I sat in my wheel chair, gazing at my baby girl through the isolate, singing "Isn't She Lovely". Last month, I started to notice she recognized the song. If she was crying, her face would calm and she would stare quietly at me through her tears. If she was playing, she would drop the toy and smile, her eyes never leaving my face. I often get the words wrong, and have no Idol-worthy voice, but its Fiona's favorite sound in the world.

I hold the magic key. I can make my baby happy with just the sound of my voice. A temporary distraction from a painful IV or foot positioning. A soother to get over-tired baby to sleep. And add a little dancing and twirling with the singing, and I can get my baby rolling with laughter. This is a vast improvement from my boys who since they have been able to talk have told me "NO SINGING!" 

I notice a big difference in my relationship with my boys and my relationship with my daughter. Since day one, I have pushed Gavin and Breiden to be independent for my own sake of survival. 8 months pregnant with the twins, I watched a mom walk into Moes holding her newborn baby and I was filled with envy.  Not because she had her baby and mine were still ripping by belly apart, but because she had one. I wasn't going to be able to walk into anywhere holding my babies, have them in a sling, to be able to bond with them that way. I am in love with my boys, they are my best friends under 3 feet. And the bonding eventually happened. I did get alone time with each, but it is not the same as what I get to experience with my daughter. With Fi, I can sit with her on my lap and read her a book. She loves this, playfully hitting the characters on the pages, snuggling her self back into my torso.With the boys, one or both would rip the book/pages out of my hands and I never could get past the second page. Then, when they were old enough to not destroy the book, they wanted to "read" it themselves. That of course consists of the two of them in their own beds, skimming through books, by themselves. "I do it, mommy" "I wanna read" even though the only letters they know are B and G. ( that's a whole nother post that I don't want to get into right now).

But I have found a secret weapon. A magic key. "Tell me a story, mom"

 Ahhh... no book to rip, or hold or fight over. The story is in my head, and they want to hear it. My story telling is worse then my singing. Give me a book and I can read it beautifully, with all the right inflections and a bundle of different voices. But a story off the top of my head?... That is filled with lots of ums and stutters and "Do you know what happened next?", because I don't know what happens next and I need that extra time to think of something quick. The stories have the power to stop unnecessary whining. A distraction from the dropped toy on the car ride or the begging to watch just "one more" show, or simply that needed good-night ritual . To them, my made up, no rhythm, awkward ending stories are much better then a TV show. I love my magic keys.


  1. What beautiful kiddos you have! I understand that you're dealing with differences I've never had to face, but a mom's relationship with her sons is different than with her daughters, anyway. I feel it very much with my family - my daughter is the oldest, followed by 2 sons. I didn't have twins, but I had 3 kiddos under 3 years of age - they are now 9, 10 and 11. It's just different with the boys - a special kind of different. Blessings as you embrace those differences and press forward with your magic keys! :D

    Following from "Say Hi Sunday Hop"! HI!!!

    ~ Raylene @ It's OK to be WEIRD!

  2. Your kids are just beautiful! My kids also had that request, "No singing mom!" :)

    My middle daughter was my independant one. When it came time to ride a bike, I helped her once or twice, then it was, "I want to try by meself." I hadn't thought of not being able to carry your baby in a sling if you had two! That's a new perspective.

    I look forward to reading more about your beautiful family!


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