Saturday, June 4, 2011


I wish there was a way to capture those last few moments before that second line appeared on the stick so that I can remember what it felt like before I was a mom. I can try to think about it, even get an artificial glimpse of it occasionally when I am enjoying a kid-responsibility-free night, but in three short years, I can't remember that exact feeling.

Gavin and Breidens birthday is a double celebration for me, and not just because there are two lives to celebrate. Its a celebration of the day these two crazy, amazing boys came into the world, and the day that I truly became a mother. I celebrate this second fact on my own every year, finding time to go through my pregnancy journal and pictures from that first day of motherhood. Its my own private holiday (well, I guess not so private anymore since I am sharing it on here), a little something that makes keeps an extra smile on my face all day. Nothing like being shoved into motherhood with two hands. God, thank you for blessing me with this awesomely challenging road in life. ( And for knowing my limits and not giving me triplets!)

I always wanted to have sons. Yep, my original hope was to have three boys. My logic? All the moms of all boys were cool. They were laid back, great cooks and loved having a house full of kids over. Now that I am a mom of boys I  know they were laid back because after the first few years of crazy, wild, destructive boy stuff you throw your hands up and stop trying to catch them every time they jump off some ridiculously high thing. You learn to cook because we all know the way to a man's heart is through their tummy and I will be the queen of my boys hearts. And you want all the kids hanging out at your place because if your boys are going to get in trouble or brake something, its gonna be something of yours.

It may be madness at times, the house may be destroyed on a regular basis, I always have some little monkey climbing on me and I deal with a lot of boy nakedness in my house ( and sometimes in public), but there is something about a boys love for his mother. That, at least for now, I am a queen to them. I am the most beautiful woman I'm the world ( B told me so). And my kisses are better then gold... or band aids and neosporin. I look at my boys and see my husband- little, outgoing, goof ball gentlemen. Gentlemen who I am training to open doors and say please and thank you. That some day, very far in the future, they will land a girl who knows she is lucky to find such a good catch.

But for now, they are 3. And trains and super heroes are what is most important in life. And I love the simplicity of them being 3.

Happy Birthday, my babies big boys.


  1. I found your blog through another that I read. My 2 year old daughter has downs also. I will be following your journey, Fiona is beautiful!

    Kelli @

  2. Beatiful post! Hope they had a great birthday, and you too :)


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