"Momma, come see. Fo-nas my best friend"...
|how much do Gavin and Fiona look a like in this picture!?|
My baby girl is a late sleeper. And I love when it is the boys that are the first to find her awake. She wakes quietly every morning, smiling and playing quietly and contently in her crib till A-someone notices or B-she gets irritated with her shoes. Today it was A.
It is suffocatingly hot out side. Like drain-all-your-energy hot. Like melt-your-popsicle-while-you-are-opening-it-from-its-wrapper hot. Good ol' SWFL, its not the temperature that gets you, but the humidity. The sky is finally starting to release some of the pressure with a few rain falls here and there but we need more. God- it would be nice if you could make it rain here from say, oh, 9pm till about 7am every night? That would be awesome.
Opening my garage door is like opening a turned on oven. It knocks you back a step, your eyes squint from the heat. But my boys are Florida boys. Shirtless, shoeless, (and pantless if I would let them), they just want to be outside. Our driveway chalk collages aren't so full anymore. After 5 minutes, I am highly encouraging a new inside activity. Even the pool requires too much effort to exert in this heat. I have dodged going to the pool almost every day this week- until today. I missed it. And it was so refreshing that it reminded me, the pool is always worth mustering up energy for.
I have come to a place of peace. We are surrounded with babies Fiona's age and I can't help but compare. I can't help but compare that at this point, with my boys, the crib mattresses were as low as we could get them because they were climbing out of their cribs and with Fiona we have yet to even have to put the crib rail all the way up because she can't even get into a sitting position on her own. I can't help but feel the slightest sting as I look at pictures of my 9 month old nephew, born less then one month after Fiona, who is standing. Its natural for us parents to compare and want our kids to be doing at least what everyone else their age is doing, if not more.
But then I look at my daughter. And I love where we are in life right now. I love that I truly am savoring every moment with her, every milestone is a mile stone. I've recently let down my need for normalcy, and embraced our normalcy. My daughter is nearing one year and I don't feel like I blinked and she is grown up. She is still a baby, and in its own way, its amazing. I won't be able to stop myself from comparing. It comes as unintentionally as breathing. But it doesn't hurt so much when she falls short. I am not so worried any more about her keeping up with her four little girlfriends- Ella, Sophia, Emma, Vivienne- and that the five of them will be her best friends for life. I know that not too far away those girls will be past her maturity and that even if they remain friends into adult hood, Fiona is always going to be more of a little sister. Someday, I want Fiona to walk. Some day I want her to graduate from school, and own her own place, and have a job that she loves. But its okay if its not when your child did it. Its okay if her close friends are years younger then her because they have more in common, or years older because they have more wisdom and compassion. Its okay if I am her best friend- really, that is more then okay :). There is no reason to get hung up on the cants, wont's, and what ifs. Because the cans and wills are amazing.