I chuckle under my breath when anyone asks me if I take less pictures of my third child. Obviously, these are people who don't really know me. Not only is my third child kinda like my second, because as I much as I hate to lump the twins together, they are both my first, but there is the fact that my third child is my first girl. The princess. The one of the three that I can accessorize and dress up and put pretty things in her hair. Oh, and of course the little fact that my third I was told I could lose her. That God could take her before I was ready, when her little heart beat like it was going to pop out of her chest. Hell yes, I take lots and lots of pictures of my third. And I talk about her a lot. We tell her she is our favorite.
But we also tell B that he is our favorite.
And G too.
They have my heart because they were my first. And because they think that I am the greatest woman on this earth. Mommy's kisses heal. Mommy's hugs comfort. Neither goes to bed with out a "minute" each of mommy cuddle time. Not knowing how to tell time works in my advantage. Some times the minutes are a bit short. Or sometimes a bit long.
I worry about the balance of importance in our house as Fiona requires more attention. I want them to know they are special with their 46 chromosomes. That although people don't come to the house to work with them, they are an important part of the family.
My worrying is totally unwarranted. No one gives Fiona more attention then the boys themselves do. They don't know about Down syndrome. They don't know why she wears special shoes or goes to special doctors. So to them, she is unjudged and perfect. I truly get the vibe that they know that she is an extension of them. Her triumphs are their triumphs. And its pretty obviously they don't think that the doctors and therapists are just there for Fiona, because they are ecstatic to talk to them every time they come.
A part of me itches for Fiona to take her nap every day, so its just me and my boys. Timing pool trips with nap time, the sleeping angel snoozing away in a shaded cool spot, as its just me and my two fish soaking up the sun. "Camp out" movies in the afternoon with popcorn and blankets, rain running down the windows as background noise. Eaves dropping on their conversations when they don't know I am around. Pretend and make-believe has really taken off lately, and everything gets turned into a fort. I crave my boy time not because its easier with just the older two, but because its specially different with just my older two.
Gavin and Breiden, you are our princes. The two crazy monkeys we couldn't live without. Watching you grow is the most rewarding thing in our lives. Thank you for making me smile daily, for being patient with me when I am not always patient with you, for being momma's boys. Okay, they are daddy's boys, too. And thank you for being the best big brothers our princess could ask for.I dread the day you are too big to both snuggle on my lap.