I try to shy away from writing of the "bad" things here, because I want to concentrate on everything good and the many many blessings we have. But it only makes sense that what consumes my mind will eventually come out here. And if you read my blog, you know it does probably more often then I like.
I watched this a few weeks ago with my husband.
( Before watching scroll down to the bottom of the page and pause the music that plays on my blog)
And it hurt more then I could even attempt to explain. Like could not control the tears for hours pain. It wasn't just hearing the words of the actors, even though scripted- those still stung too- but it was all the people who nodded in agreement or said nothing. At some point, some day, Fiona will face something like that. That hurts.
The response to asking people not to use the word retard always is the same. " I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it that way" But those horrible, toxic, painful words those actors said, that's what you are saying when you use that word. That is what that word means. If you don't mean it that way, you don't know the word you are even using. And you just don't understand how I felt when I watched that clip.
On a daily basis, we have people tell us something or someone is "retarded" either not knowing about Fiona or simply not thinking before they speak. On a daily basis we are put in a situation to ignore or to educate. It stings a little more each time I hear it, like a hiccup in the conversation- a noticeable pause where I picture my daughter and just want to wrap my arms around her. I want to protect her from ever hearing that word, from ever knowing that because of the way God made her, fearfully and wonderfully made, people will make fun of her, people will get irritated with her, people will look down on her.
I know that people aren't thinking of Fiona when they use the word so carelessly. Its not like they are filling in her name "That's so Fiona", but honestly, you might as well be. Starting to understand why this word is so painful? And how insensitive the comment to "Just get over it" or "Stop overreacting" is?
I don't want to be Debbie Downer. I don't want to call people out on it. I don't want to talk about it. But I do, for everyone who deserves to be treated like a human being.
Tomorrow night is girls movie night. Our movie choice? The Change Up. I have been looking forward to this movie for months (because any movie with Ryan Reynolds I look forward to for months). So today, when Jennifer at Life As We Know It posted about part of the movie's script, I was crushed. Now I had to decide, do I go, listen to the painful words come from my biggest Hollywood crush's mouth and ignore it. Or, do I tell my girlfriend.
I told my girlfriend. And I love the response I got back. Without hesitation we were no longer going to see The Change Up. I knew I wasn't going to financially support a movie that scripted these words- (in reference to Jason Bateman's twins not talking) " What, are they retarded? And this one, he looks Downsy" And neither could my friends. I know I won't be able to dodge it every time, because honestly, the majority of movies I have seen lately use the R word. But I couldn't knowingly go in there, and hear them talk about having Down syndrome as a negative thing. Making my daughter's life a joke to laugh about. And I know I couldn't handle if any one in the movie theater laughed out loud.
This probably wont be the last time you
Thank you, Tricia, for being so supportive :)