Sunday, September 11, 2011

A Hiatus

Dear G, B and Fi-

 A while back, on a night out alone, Dad and I bought a journal and decided we were going to start writing to you. Writing about our beginning, writing about our past and writing about our life. We were trying to take this one whirlwind life we get, and savor every moment so we could all look back someday and know and remember it all. And then we got Fiona's diagnosis. And I was introduced to the world of blogging. A live journal for all to see and learn from. I could add pictures, and music and show our northern family how wonderful life in the south is :). The convenience of it made it easy for me to write this story for you. But I also used this opportunity for other things. A chance to vent my fears and worries and be comforted by other people in similar situations. A chance to show people that Fiona, your life is one worth living. A chance to be another voice for Down syndrome, support for congenital heart and birth defects. A chance to entertain people, to remind people all they have to be thankful for, to connect with other people. And while those are all good things, it was starting to be less something for us and more something for others. I was getting addicted to the lime-light. The encouraging and flattering comments about how amazing our family is, how beautiful you kids are, and the growing number of "followers" I had reading my words. 

Maybe after a little break, I'll allow every one to read again. Because there are a lot of positive things about sharing your story. But, after a talk with God, I realized I need to humble my self a little bit. I need to worry more about what He is thinking of me then the world wide web. So, for the next few weeks or months, or possibly years, I will be writing to you, my audience of three. I want you to know and remember these beginning years. Probably my most stressful years. Fiona, I want you to know that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and the struggles God has given you with your extra chromosome are nothing compared to the wonder you are. I want the three of you to know my heart. My values and how you were raised. I want you, Gavin and Breiden, to always know the special bond you two have as twins, so someday when you are in a fight, I can show you why you always have to be there for each other. And mainly, I want you to be able to see how blessed we are, merely because we are children of God. 


S.W.A.K.,
Mom

1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful Shannon. You are truely an inspiration, and the mother that I strive to be.

    ReplyDelete

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